Yesterday was hard as it is each and every day without having you here with me, and despite the fact that I know that things would not be any different to what it was between us when you were still here, at least I could still see you and hear your voice. I know that I was not your everything, and that I embarrassed you, was an inconvenience, brought shame to your door, was different, you could not understand where I was coming from but I was still your daughter, heartbroken because I lost Daddy and a girl who needed her mums love. The last few days with you will be ones that I will treasure for the rest of my life as words were shared that I have never heard before, ones that even Angela and Jennifer can never take away from me. I might have been different to your other daughters but I was your daughter and I always needed you and you turned your back on me so many times. I don't know if it was because of that man who were married too turning your head as he di not like me but there were so many times that you hurt me so badly but yet, I still came running to you. I love you Mammy, always have, always will. I wish that you did not have that ugly disease and go through what you did - it is not fair, never will be, and I will never come to terms with that. Please know that I always loved you.